If you can’t connect to those who you depend on then one of the ways you can cope as a child is to create your own inner world. Doing nothing is not an option as the brain and nervous system need to regulate somehow. This rich, inner world is a place of solace to counter the threat out there, the unmet need.
Replacing the World
As we grow up that inner world which gave us so much comfort is still alluring. It’s comfortable and we stay in it by not sharing who we are with the world, the people closest to us. We choose to shy away and tend to isolate more instead of opening up and being honest. Understandable.
But it no longer serves us and we start to feel like something’s wrong and we feel trapped or stuck. That inner world was like a warm blanket and we don’t want to give it up but if we keep it then we are miserable anyway.
The answer is always to come out of your shell and be who you are.
It’s not easy but being an adult you have more tools at your disposal. You also have control over your own life and are not relying on parents or caretakers to provide you with food and care.
Start slowly and begin the process of doing what you needed to do as a child, reaching out and letting other people see you as you see them. Feel the anxiety and push forward regardless.
“The richest journey is the inner journey.”
― Rasheed Ogunlaru”
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