The way to heal your inner child is not to go back and take care of their needs then. There’s no way to do that and even if you could find somebody to give you unconditional love as an adult it would not work. You’d feel nice for awhile but soon realize that that void is still there.
What you have to do is take care of your needs “now,” in the present moment. Healing yourself involves a few steps. The first is to go back and look at what happened to you as a child and see it through your new adult eyes. Understand what happened through your adult lens and change the interpretation of what happened.
For example if you were abused you may have internalized the belief that your childhood was normal or that you deserved to have been treated that way because you made some mistakes. After going through your childhood with a therapist or by journalling you can now debunk that myth and see it for the injustice it was.
Next is to validate the feelings and problems you have now as a result of that abuse.
Then you’d take ownership of them (not blame) and figure out what you need now in order to manage and eventually overcome them, becoming a stronger person in the process. There are probably hundreds of things you can do but I’d suspect that one of the more important ones would be to face your abusers (likely your parents) and talk to them about it saying whatever you need to say.
Then talk with them some more, regularly about that issue or any number of things you find yourselves in conflict with, whether it’s about the past or present.
Talk with a therapist, friends and with yourself and figure out what your needs are now. Then go after them, face the fear and do it anyway, over and over until you’ve grown.
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
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